Just like I thought I could never figure out the meaning of symbols I also thought I could never tap into my intuition. I understood that everyone has intuition but I was sure that I was cut off from mine. I read books, listened to audio lessons, and took classes to get in touch with my intuition. I felt this was all to no avail. Little did I know that I had been following my intuition throughout my life.
My intuition comes in the form of claircognizance (clear knowing) and clairsentience (clear feeling). The clair's are where the normal senses are heightened. There is one for all the senses. The most recognizable clair is clairvoyance (clear seeing). A person can come into this world with a predilection toward one or more Clair. The clairs I were predisposed to are the more subtle forms. The information I received did not smack me upside the head like in clairvoyance or clairaudience.
When I was growing up I was told repeatedly that I didn't see what I saw, didn't hear what I heard, that I was too sensitive causing me to deny my own experience. I could not stop the incoming information but I could poo poo it, deny it and turn away. And so I did. When I said I was following my intuition it would look something like this.
I had been studying shamanism for a while. One day I just got the idea to do a vision quest. I did not question this. I just set out to find how I could do it. And so I did. Not really thinking it through. That vision quest was one of the most harrowing yet pivotal points in my life. My higher self knew it was what I needed to do to advance my human and soul's growth. I have stories like that one running through my life. And now I see those things for what they are. I get a download of information from my higher self and I take heed. Where ever I did wondrous things occurred and moved me up one more step along my journey. That was the way claircognizance looked to me getting "ideas" popping into my head. As for clairsentience, I would just feel another's feelings and understand where they are at. In other words, I am highly sensitive. I pick up feelings and information without really knowing why or where.
Taking up Tarot again I think was another nudge from my higher self. Deciding on Biddy Tarot was another. What I learned through Biddy tarot has changed the way I relate to my intuition. I now know what those knowings are all about. It was a journey getting to that place. I would do a reading for someone and out it would pour. If I would stop to question it would all fall apart. Each tarot reading led me closer and closer to an understanding. When I am doing a reading and it feels like I am making stuff up, reaching I have to remind myself to follow my intuition that that is what it feels like. To help me stay on track I came up with this affirmation-type thing. It goes like this:
When I take that leap,
When I think I am reaching,
I am in my intuition.
Because it's not about me
or what I say or think.
It's about my intuition telling me
what the cards are saying.
Shamanism and tarot can work together to bring you a deeper experience.
Let me do a small spread and ask what is the nature of my intuition in the past, present, and future?
This is where it can get tricky reading tarot. I expected to see positive, uplifting cards when asking the state of my intuition past, present, and future. After all, in the present, I feel I am more connected with my intuition than in the past. However, I need to allow my intuition to read these cards and get to the truth. Let me delve into the reading. See the photo of the spread to the right.
Card 1 Ace of Pentacles. My intuition in the past.
In the past, my intuition was in the developing stage. I was planting the seeds for my intuition to grow and blossom. Sounds good so far. I do feel that was where my intuition was at. You see the roots extending out of the pentacle being held and nurtured in the hand. Nice uplifting image.
Card 2. 9 of Swords. My intuition in the present.
The image in this card is quite disturbing. Yes, this card is basically about worry, excessive worry in fact. This is not necessarily a bad thing. The card is alerting me to the fact that I still worry from time to time whether I am truly utilizing my intuition or making stuff up. Yes, it can bring me some distress. However, I can not change what I am not aware of. So, I need to know that it is still a problem and when it shows up to gather my courage and face this fear. Look at it for what it is a fear I am creating in my mind. Instead of dwelling on this fear I need to focus on the positive feedback I have gotten through doing tarot. And breathe, of course, breathe, always breathe. :)
Card 3. 10 of Wands. My intuition on the future.
In the future, I am going to be moving away from the burdens I place on myself of not tapping into my intuition. I may still be carrying a lot of excess baggage, that of worry, worry worry, with me however I am making forward movement. I am not to give up. I am making progress.
To sum up: In the past, I planted the seeds to tune into my intuition (Ace of Pentacles). Baggage from my childhood is holding me back. Baggage of not trusting myself, denying my truth. I am not to fear this. A large lesson in my life is to overcome the negative energy when I was a child. This lesson will be with me for a while (9 of Swords). However, I will be well on my way to being at the end of this journey and enjoying freely my gift of intuition with no lingering worries (10 of Wands).
For all who request a tarot reading from me, I can say that I will check my ego at the door. What I do is create a sacred space in which to read. Then, I channel the energy of the querent (person desiring the reading) thinking of the situation and the querent's question. I realize that it is not about me. But I do use my intuition to reveal what the cards say that the querent needs to hear.
The reading I did for myself on my intuition is basically how I do a reading. I read the cards and give positive advice to help the querent move forward.
I love to read tarot for others. I am ready to read for you.
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